Tag Archives: women

Be All That You Can Pee: Beauty Tips and Tricks You Can Make in Your Own Home!

1 Nov urine face cleansing treatment for lip service

What if we told you that the answer to nature’s call (for women to look better) was in the call of nature all along? Well, urine luck! Because pee is having a major moment. That’s right, you’re just a bathroom break away from becoming a better you, inside and out. Here’s our list of the best and brightest at-home urinal treatments:

Number One. Ready to relieve yourself of your hideous, repugnant, disgusting weight and become a societal winner? Of course you are!!  Lose the Listerine and trade it in for some top-notch tinkle to become a thinner, prettier, more valuable woman. Just gargle with your pisspee before every meal to suppress your appetite and naturally stave off hunger pangs.

Urine Face Cleanser for Beauty-012. Fountain of Youth. Dull, aging skin? Sprinkle your tinkle in a large tight-seal Tupperware container. After letting it sit under direct sunlight for 6 days (leave out longer for more noticeable results), dunk your face directly into your peelightful home-made astringent, holding your breath for as long as possible. Make sure that your entire face is submerged in oui oui to get the most out of this youthanizing treatment!

3. Wizz Whiz. Ever wonder where the expression “powder my nose” came from? Us too! But next time you take a trip to the toilet, run to the restroom, prance to the potty, bounce to the baño, or leap to the loo, remember that urine acts as a natural mattifyer, absorbing unsightly oil as it dries on your skin. So, think twice before clogging your pores with cakey, chalky powder and, instead, reach within reach of your rear for some Grade A fountain dew. 

drink your own pee diet lip service 14. Tea Pee. Feeling sluggish? When you feel tired, it shows and a wee bit more wee in your diet could make all the difference. An all-natural Arnold Palmer made with nature’s lemonade might be just what you need to beat that 3pm fatigue. Just mix one part #1 with one part organic fennel spiced amphetamine salts and you’re off!

5. Golden Shower. The easiest way to fit in your daily urine requirement is to have someone else do it for you! Allow yourself to be a little selfish today by asking your boyfriend to hose you down after sex with a revitalizing rinse of pure pee gold, à la R.Kelly. Leave the treatment in while you run errands. Everyone will be asking what you’re doing differently 😉

6. Whittle your Middle with Piddle. Urine could possibly have a chemical that scientists haven’t discovered yet that perhaps might, potentially, reduce pesky abdominal fat, maybe. Only time will tell! But in the meantime, why risk it? Slather your stomach with sprinkle for a potentially, imaginably tighter tummy.

7. Gladder Bladder. Occasionally, beauty comes from within. Not in the juice cleansing way, but in the ecological way. Being environmentally conscious makes you look more appealing to others and is extremely on trend right now. Remind people of what a good person you are by becoming an activist. Give your pee to the homeless in little Styrofoam cups. Fill your SUV with canisters of pee to drop off at the Salvation Army. Send your pee to Africa. (Lip Tip! Buy bottled water in bulk, empty the contents, and fill them with your weezy to ensure you won’t waste a precious drip during transportation overseas.) Every little bit counts. And remember, waste is only waste if you waste it 😉

Samantha Miranda

Samantha Miranda 

“Kiss my skinny, white ass.” The fashion world has showered accolades on the “Preppy cunt—meets—Los Angeles scenester” style of the self-proclaimed model turned media mogul Samantha Miranda. Bored by pedestrian-wear, Miranda established her own clothing line to aid the uninformed and tasteless on how to be become hip quick.  After recognizing her gift for helping the less fortunate, the designer began a career as a self-help writer, giving plain, frumpy and ordinary women beauty tips and relationship advice.  A weekly column soon blossomed into the media empire that is Lip Service Industries. Now, women of some types are gifted with the ability to become the pretty, popular girl, thanks to the Life Style Bible, Lip Service Magazine.

Beautiful or Busted: Who Wore it Better?

5 Sep

Beautiful or Busted Kim K and Kristin Bell

With motherhood becoming a more and more popular trend among celebrity fashionistas, babies are having a serious moment.  The It accessory can be seen in the arms of trendsetters around the globe. Teen pregnancies are high, abortion clinics are “out”, and even Hobby Lobby is scoring some much needed style points. Here, Kim K. rocks her baby accessory like a true style star! She pairs her first born with a sexy, attention grabbing open blazer and nothing underneath. Kim’s barely-there ensemble, voluminous hair and glossy pink pout, make it clear that she’s wearing her baby and not letting the baby wear her.

Kristen Bell has an infant too, but you wouldn’t guess it from this getup! The star looks manly without her baby and is making it worse by covering up all her curves! The former Veronica Mars star is so fashionably challenged that she’s even gone so far as to launch a campaign against paparazzi who stalk and harass children to get photos. Kristen, by leaving your child at home you send the message that your baby is ugly and you think you’re too good for it. Someone needs a  refresher course in style!