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How to Vote for Him in Style!

23 Jul

voting  lipservicemag

Electoral Debut. This is your big chance to get discovered! Treat it like any other Hollywood premiere and come in your very best. Just don’t make the mistake of going in the voting booth, then no one will see you!

Bill of Rights. Find the Anthony Weiner of your district. Once he shows you his, you can show him your… bills! Blackmail him into paying, or the peener goes public!

Rock the Tote. This primary, vote for Donald in style! Carry all of your boyfriend/father/brother’s suggestions in a fab birkin bag, so you won’t forget this time 😉

sarah palin bikiniBalance of Power Suit.  If election season has taught us anything, it’s that bossy is bitchy! The last thing any man wants to wake up to is a naggy haggy Hilary. Soften your appearance with Palin-approved pearls and a pouty pink lip!  And, remember, no one likes a bupkis Bernie!

Absentee Vote. The best way to send the message that you’re too good for voting is by not voting at all! Use the time you got off work to cast your ballot to get a fab mani/pedi instead. You’d be doing your country a disservice if you DIDN’T; those cuticles are out of control, fugglefists! 

Bill of Tight Tushie. Want his vote of approval? Then tighten your tushie, tubby! Try our Skenny Betch Tips to Looking Fab (For Him)

Opinion Polling. When a line starts forming on voting day, now’s your chance to get as many opinions as possible on an outfit (or a boyfriend) that you’re not sure about. They’ll be grateful to you for making their lives more interesting.  

To Catch a Senator. Polling results are in. The conclusion? Politicians are perverts! Catch your own with a lusty look straight from the dominatrix den that’ll whip him straight into the hearts of the American people!

Legal Voting Age. By voting, you admit you’re old enough to be someone’s mother. Pathetic!

Civic Booty.  Politicians are positively powerful…and you’re just an itty witty citizen. Serve him so he can serve the people. Ooh, happy birthday, Mr. Pwesident. 

Pres-i-duh!  Above all else, always remember your #1 duty as a patriot: Don’t be a downer, ladies! 😉 

woman with american flag lipservice

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Beautiful or Busted: Who Wore it Better?

23 Mar

Mindy Kaling Frozen Elsa

Who wore it better: comedy queen Mindy Kaling or beautiful, blonde bombshell Elsa? While both ladies were rocking blue frocks and side braid, something about Mindy’s look comes off unnatural and contrived, compared to Elsa’s effortless Disney Diva style. While Mindy tried to keep it real, the whole getup needs a reality check! Elsa’s youthful glow and light luscious locks aren’t trying to be pretty, they ARE pretty! Nice try Mindy. But, next time, don’t try so hard!

She’s a Fall Wonder: Fall for Fall with These Fall of Fame Lip Tips!

31 Oct pumpkins lady

Fall fashion is a cornucopia of possibilities! Fashion-forward with these simple fash-in tips:

pumpkin funGolden Girl. Just because your beach days are coming to a close doesn’t mean you have lose that healthy sun-kissed glow! Try a self-tanner; we like GlowBaby by Antoneei Giadalalentis (Sephora, $79.99). Make sure you pre-treat for an even application by removing the top seven to ten layers of your skin with an at-home microdermabrasion kit; check out the Smoothsonic DermaCleanse System (saksfifthavenue.com, $399; additional brush heads are $85 each).

Pump It Up! No one looks better taking selfies in the swirling, falling leaves of an oak tree with a tastefully-sweatered date than a lady who’s just had her lips plumped! Collagen injections are getting sexier, safer, and, luckily for us, cheaper– most surgeons offer syringes from $450-600.

It’s Just a Blade. Fall is a great time to think about adding to your nip/tuck honey fund, and it’s never too early to start putting aside some of your allowance for your pre-beach season procedures and recovery. If you let this one slip, you might not find any paws in your honey, girl!

cuuute outfitKeep it Shiny! Drier weather means staving off chapped, cracked, un-kissable lips. Try an autismal-flavored lip balm! We like Sephora’s SuperGloss D-Stix® in original flavors like Persimmon Mint Lust and Chocolate Clove Cupcake Thrust ($24.95 each). And never get caught without lip gloss – just think of your favorite Stars Without Makeup photos, if you need a little motivation 😉  Plus, tasting like a cinnamon-dusted pumpkin patch is sure to draw a gentleman in from the frost! Oh!

Search and Destroy. When you’re out with the girls shopping for your new seasonal threads, use fashion itself to snag that gotta-have-it item. If you come across a fellow shopper reaching for that same-sized, dull orange cashmere capelet, be resourceful and slam your stiletto on their closest foot, preferably the bony top side. Don’t be shy — the extra-smalls always go first!

Know the Rules. Understanding the consequences of committing a fashion faux-pas is crucial to building your customized wardrobe. Ignoring the laws can lead you down a path of sadness and injustice — men will never appreciate you if you appear unattractive and women will certainly scoff. With that in mind:

Help Others. Remember that it’s your duty to remind other women of the fashion rules. If you spot another lady erroneously mixing-and-matching any of her clothing items (or shoes! Let’s not forget shoes!), be sure to gently inform her of her mistake by telling her something like, “Nice jeans” in a snide tone or try an underhanded compliment — these skills pay for themselves. 😉

giltter-pumpkin-girl-01Keep It Simple, Stupid! If you’re sexy enough to have one, ask your man if your outfit is hot enough! After all, that’s what it’s really all about!

Set Goals. Accepting that your body has unfixable flaws and deformities that no combination of clothing can hide is the first step toward becoming a fashionista. You can learn to camouflage your weak spots by following these and other Lip Tips. And, even when you think you’re looking your best, there will always be another woman in stilettos ready to stomp you back into Fuglytown. Be prepared and keep reading Lip Service!

Most importantly, remember to have fun!

 

Beautiful or Busted: Who Wore it Better?

5 Sep

Beautiful or Busted Kim K and Kristin Bell

With motherhood becoming a more and more popular trend among celebrity fashionistas, babies are having a serious moment.  The It accessory can be seen in the arms of trendsetters around the globe. Teen pregnancies are high, abortion clinics are “out”, and even Hobby Lobby is scoring some much needed style points. Here, Kim K. rocks her baby accessory like a true style star! She pairs her first born with a sexy, attention grabbing open blazer and nothing underneath. Kim’s barely-there ensemble, voluminous hair and glossy pink pout, make it clear that she’s wearing her baby and not letting the baby wear her.

Kristen Bell has an infant too, but you wouldn’t guess it from this getup! The star looks manly without her baby and is making it worse by covering up all her curves! The former Veronica Mars star is so fashionably challenged that she’s even gone so far as to launch a campaign against paparazzi who stalk and harass children to get photos. Kristen, by leaving your child at home you send the message that your baby is ugly and you think you’re too good for it. Someone needs a  refresher course in style!

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Make Sure YOU’RE Remembered This Memorial Day!

26 May

Lip Service Memorial Day Outfit

Beautiful or Busted: Who Wore it Better?

27 Apr

BUSTED MILEY MICHELLE

White is HUGE for spring. We saw this edgy trend start cropping up at Paris Fashion Week and, since then, it’s making it’s way into street style snaps and onto celebrity gods alike. Here we have the lovely Miley rocking a white fishnet dress with tasteful pasties and a fur bolero accent. Très chic! The less stylish Michelle Obama tried, but her tired looking dress with matching jacket looks frumpy and dated and makes us wonder what saggy body parts she’s trying to hide. Better luck next time, Michelle!